xmiss_usedx's Xanga

wtf

Thu, 01 Oct 2009 03:00:22 GMT

So I worked 12 hours today! I'm pretty tired not gunna lie.

I was thinking about it today... and it finally hit me- I'm 20 years old. I don't feel like I should be 20. If I could estimate my age it'd be about 15.

You know what my least favorite age group of girls is? 14-16. I was closing the store, after my 12 hours straight of working- and these two 15 year old girls come in to tan. I was feeling nice so I let them tan for 6 minutes (lol as if 6 mins makes a diff anyway!) Then as they come in 5 more of their friends came in to wait on them (dont ask me why) and they are all sitting around being ditzy. Finally one of the girls asked me if she could tan without parental consent (Really?!) so I was like uh no. Then they all proceded to go to the bathroom together... heres where it gets weird.... our bathroom is a one room bathroom, the kind you would have at a house, there are not multiple stalls and yet all 4 of them went in together. So I'm thinking there is no way.... why would all 4 of them go in together?! Then I wait around and they all leave so I go to the back to make my deposit and what not and look in the bathroom. The toilet was clogged... with poo. This means one of a few possible situations 1. they all poop together??? 2. one girl pooped and the rest just stood there? 3. They were all standing in there, and never went to the bathroom but were just enjoying the smell of feces??? And not only was the toilet clogged they had wads of paper towels all over. We have a trash can in the bathroom but apparently they just missed it!? Weird little kids. So I didnt get to leave till 30 mins after close... and ofcourse I had to tan first- so I left an hour after close!

sorry for the randomness I'm blowed

fml

Sun, 06 Sep 2009 00:26:38 GMT

I'm begining to feel like there's no getting ahead for me. I'm constantly in some sort of debt, or I can't get everything I need or want to do. I constantly question if I'm going down the right path, and I'm begining to feel as though I may have reached my dead end. There surely has to be more to life than just this right? I see no point in continuing the mystery that is my life if the end is inevitably just as shitty as the midpoint I've surely already reached. Today I got into my car to find myself crying crying for the stress and pain that is a constant plague to me. I can't do this forever, I can't question my inadequacy forever, nor should I have to. I keep on looking for my light at the end of the tunnel but I am yet to see a light switch thus far...

blah blah blah

Sat, 22 Aug 2009 12:46:31 GMT

A Third posting what!? How crazy.

So I got my new phone yesterday. Its pretty much shweet. Its the G1 by T-mobile. It may be the ugliest bulkiest phone in the entire world butttt I'm in love with it none the less. I love the apps too. Mostly because 95% of them are free, and the phone loads them sooooo fast... the 3g network is great. I would recomend it. Granted I've only had it for a whopping few hours, so far so good... at least better than the stupid sidekick.

I'm exausted. I was watching t.v last night when it hit me that it was 2:00am and I had to be up by 7:00am. BLLLAAAHHHH... so I ended up sleeping through my first few alarms and waking up at like 8:15... to be at work by 8:45. So I had to hurry and take the fastest shower ever, then get dressed, I didnt put on any make-up, threw my hair in a poney tail and ran out the door. Blah. Then I get here and my day is going pretty okay except this crazy 70 year old woman wants to tell me her life story and about the glory days of college. FML. Sorry this post is lame but I'm tired maybe in a few hours when I'm more awake I'll put in a better update.

Oh man day two of posting

Thu, 20 Aug 2009 13:47:37 GMT

I've decided that posting in here is much easier while at work. Oh man tanning is at its slow season so I sit here and get on myspace, facebook, and now xanga. I'm may just be the worst employee ever. Last night was pretty uneventful. I got home around 9:30, went to Chase deposited my "huge" check and got ciggs, gas, and pop :). Oh life.

I have several complaints to make about girls, between the ages of 13 and 17 that come in to tan. (Note: I think I may have been one of these girls).

1. You do not need to wear 50 lbs of make up to come in and tan- you look awful, and its not like anyone is going to see you anyway you are getting in a tanning bed, which if you want your face to be any tanner you will have to take off all that make-up anyway.

2. I hate when little girls get an attitude with me. Its not going to get you anywhere. You sitting there telling me that you should have a free tan on your account means nothing- if its not there, its not there. I guess you should go back to the tanning consultant who told you they would give you a free tan. Please do not bitch at me because someone else didn't put it on.

3. When I ask "Do you have your own eyewear today" and they respond "yes" and I say, "can I see your eyewear" and then they dont have it... then I ask "would you like me to loan you a pair" and they reply "I don't wear it anyway." ..... FIRST off, don't lie and say you have it if you don't. Second off DON'T TELL ME YOU DON'T WEAR IT. Thats stupid. By law you are required to wear some type of eye protection in the tanning bed, and by law if you tell me you don't wear your goggles I have to give you a big stupid talk about why you should wear them, then if I'm feeling really hard working I'll show you some nasty pics of what your eye looks like when you don't wear eyewear, and trust me I don't want to see it anymore than you do.

3. I hate it when girls come in and try to sign up without a parent. Or tell me that their parents told them it was okay to tan. This just in what your parent says to you doesnt mean jack shit to me. Unless I have them here to sign a fucking waiver I dont care what they told you you could or couldnt do. Again, State law = anyone under 18 years of age needs a parent.

4. I hate it when little girls don't wear tanning lotion. You're just fucking up your skin with that. And then you laugh about it like its a big joke. Oh well at least I wont look like im 50 by the age of 25. You're only hurting yourself!

I'm slightly hateful right now if you couldnt tell. But I'm working with 5 hours of sleep, and I closed last night and opened this morning. I guess this is how negative I get when I only get like 10 hours away from this place. I also haven't tanned in like 2 weeks so I feel extra pale. Oh well...

Okay kids. Thats all for now. Maybe another post tommorow who knows?!

pff

Wed, 19 Aug 2009 21:55:26 GMT

So does anyone use Xanga anymore? I'm pretty sure thats a big old no. But hell why not give the xanga thing a shot. It seems like it was previously my favorite of all networking sites... way better than facebook or myspace at least.

I'm at work. Good old work. I need a new job. Not really a new job, just a second job. Wonderful L.A Tan has dropped down to giving me a whole 15 hours a week!! And we all know living on 750-somthing dollars a month is so easy to do! (Except for not at all). I got paid today... only $311.08 which will last me like uhhh 3 days. I'm getting my new G1 phone. Because I'm just that cool, but thats going to take 150.00. And the rest is going to gas, bills, ciggs, and the little i have left I can buy like a dime bag. I hate life.

I will be getting a new number though so make sure you all get that! (((Not that anyone I talk to will even be on here))). I'm hoping to get it tommorow... after cashing my check. It should be pretty nice too because tommorow I'm only working 3 hours! I don't know what I'm going to do when I get the second job and have to work a full length shift. The most I've been doing recently is 6 hour days. (Not going to lie though it is pretty nice).

I've been super depressed recently. I don't really know why. Part of it I'm blaming on the transfer back home. It just feels like Columbus isn't really home anymore. Most of my friends are all in Wilmington, Dayton, Felicity, pretty much just anywhere but here. Its making me feel really left out. Don't get me wrong I do love my group of friends here its just I don't talk to many people from highschool anymore and when I do it just feels awkward like We've all moved on to bigger and better things. Everyone has their own little cliques and I'm left in the dark. Its also hard living with my parents. Welllll my parents and connor. I can't wait till we can move out and get our own place. It really sucks to have to ask people to come over and be like oh by the way my parents will be there... LAME. I'm about to turn 20... perfect time for moving out if I do say so myself. Who knows. I deff can't be out on my own only making what I'm making now, and Connor not having a job and all. BLEH. Hopefully life will pick up from here.

Then theres him. I will continuously for the rest of this paragraph refer to him as "him" just to watch my ass in case he does still get on here. I think about him everyday. Not romanticaly, I've already determined I will end up marrying Connor, so that doesnt even come to my mind. I just wonder how he is. If he still thinks about me too.. I doubt it, even when we were together I was the one who thought about him who tried to make the relationship work. I just wonder if he's happy. If there would have been more that I could have done- or if inevitably we just wern't meant to be together. If I'm 100 % truthful with myself I know we wern't meant to be but it always seems to slip to the back of my mind. I wish I could just talk to him, get the closure I need so that I can honestly and fully move on without questioning everyday of my life if I'm making the wrong decision. Maybe its because he was my first real love and you can never find someone to replace that spot in your heart. It also doesnt help that I can't talk about him with anyone. No one would understand, and majority of my friends are Connor's friends. Not that I care if he knows but we truely do not need another reason to argue more than we already do. I just wish I could have replayed the relationship, but this time with the knowladge I have. I've changed so much in the past year- and maybe if I was me now it would have worked then. Probabally not. Maybe I just needed this past year to discover who I really am, to have rough times as well as good times and maybe it is for the best that I never talk to him again.

Oh well... we close in two hours so I should really clean some beds... close the store.. then I have to be up early in the morning and open again. I think its in my best intrest to wake-and-bake to make my three hour shift go smoother. Who knows.

Monday, March 24, 2008

Mon, 24 Mar 2008 01:39:17 GMT

So I havent written in awhile. I thought I'd add in an entry, because me and Connor are bringing the xanga phase back. So my new goal is to write everyday.

work pretty much sucked, but I got through it... it was only 6 hours but it felt like forever! Stupid Easter. Apparently its like the third biggest floral holiday so it got a little hecktic.

Now, I'm at wilmington... sitting here with Crystal and Connor. Its good times.. other than the mono. Which kinda pretty much sucks. So thats all for now. I'll write again tommorow... i think... maybe.

Saturday, March 24, 2007

Sat, 24 Mar 2007 10:17:32 GMT

I got my first tattoo yesterday. Yay me.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Thu, 15 Mar 2007 00:43:05 GMT

I havent written a real entry in xanga in ages. I think i may forget how.

here it goes:

I'm so entirely sick of school, I have another 70-something days left until I'm officially graduated. Thats pretty exciting. However, then comes college, and I recieved all my financial aide papers... andddd the lowest one is 10,500$. With my salary at Krogers... I could have that in .. ohhh i dont know 55 years?! Okay.. prolly 2 years in all actuality. But still... thats assuming I'll NEVER buy anything other than putting my money to student loans and what not. However, I'm going into social work which has a tuition rembersment program along with it, and a major goal of mine is social work in Africa. SOOO theres some tuition payment there. Life is simply stressful.

Still no car. I feel like every paycheck lately is just running away so I havent been able to really save lately. I'm never getting a car again- i'm convinced. Dad says I'll have one before graduation... but i'm getting real impatient.. I miss driving MY OWN car sooooo bad. I applied for a loan from Bobb chevrolet. Havent heard back yet... but I only want one for like 3,000- and I dont even know if they go that low to be entirely honest... as far as researching goes- I didnt do much.

right now I have so much homework, from making up days, and then just regular stuff... I have like 4 tests tommorow- I dont even know what to do with myself. Ironicly I could be doing homework now- but I'm not. So on that note: I think I need to study and get some work done. Its getting late.

xoxox

Monday, March 12, 2007

Mon, 12 Mar 2007 16:03:41 GMT

real sick.

lots of pain.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Tue, 13 Feb 2007 23:43:04 GMT

I miss my car. I want a new one real bad.